Peaks and Valleys

Since Meghan has started getting seizures, it has been nothing but ups and downs. It has gotten better, she is definitely improving everyday over these past 17 months since her set back. But a part of me still feels really heartbroken at times.

I know that I should count my blessings and be thankful that she has a really good chance of outgrowing them. I know that I should be thankful that she is just delayed and not disabled. I know that I should be thankful that she won't remember everything that she has gone through. But yet I sit and cry at times. Why I ask myself...is it because she's not talking like her other 2 year old friends, is it because she doesn't know how to jump, or sing along to the "itsy bitsy spider" and do the hand movements, or that she is just about a year behind developmentally. I do know for a fact that she is HAPPY, she has FUN, and most of all she is LOVED and gives the best LOVE. Nothing else should matter but yet I find myself in these pity parties, looking at my friends children with a twinge of sadness because Meghan "can't do that" yet.

Even if Meghan will always be challenged with developmental delay's, I just need to grab on to her love and happiness because that is what truly matters. God trusted me with this precious gift. He chose ME to be her mommy and I will not let her down. I have a lot to learn from Meghan. Her strength and determination is amazing. She will teach me how to pull from that strength and rise above. Some days are harder than others.

OK...so my party of pity is over! I will stand up straight, hold my head high, grab my martini and power on through. Wish me luck!

Ugh...The Teenage Years

I totally forgot kids grow up to be teenagers!! Is this what I have to look forward too?

The constant texting! Not to mention the laziness along with socks on the floor!!


I do believe it was about 10 AM. Do I see drool?


The floor is not the place for clothes...especially clean and dirty ones together..gross!

Mother's Day!!

I must say that Mother's Day is one of my favorite days!! I really have no idea why because I still have to get up, fix breakfast, clean up, get the kids going, chase the kids around...I could go on! It's not like I get to sit in a lounge chair on a tropical beach with a super sexy guy serving me drinks every 15 minutes or so. Ahhh that would be so nice. Well, there are 364 other days I can enjoy the sun, the beach, and the "view".

On mother's day, I want to be with none other than my two girls. They have taught me the true meaning of unconditional love and have shown me strength that is beyond belief. Trying to put what it's like being a mother into words would be something like ; it's the happiest, hardest, scariest, confused, excited...every emotion you could think of all wrapped in one. By far, the good times outweigh the bad. They are my life and truly hold my heart in their very souls!

Happy Mother's Day!

Here are some pics that I find so memorable as a mother!

Elizabeth's first ballet recital!

Elizabeth boating...her favorite summer fun!

Meghan happy as can be!

Elizabeth's priceless smile!

Sisters!!

Beautiful Elizabeth!

Elizabeth's first day of Kindergarten!

Meghan and her amazing strength...she is a fighter!!

Beautiful Meghan and her priceless smile!

My Truck and I....

I can't park...my truck that is! Give me a compact and I can park it anywhere (as long as I don't have to parallel park, or, in some instances, have to get out of the car).

My truck and I started our relationship in September of 2007 when we bought our fairly new Toyota Camry. I was newly pregnant with severe morning sickness, and the new car smell from the Camry made the sickness over 100% worse! Problem solved...I will drive the truck (2001 Chevrolet 1500 = no fairly new car smell). All was fantastic, with only a few pit stops (pregnant women will know what I'm talking about), while I was driving my truck. Hey...I even got whistled at when I was 9 months pregnant by a semi-cute guy (he didn't see my belly...and at 9 months pregnant, any cat call is a compliment whether they saw my belly or not)!!

Alas...Meghan is born, and, obviously the sickness is gone! Enter...the crashing of the economy and over $4.00 gas prices (I live in California...remember). Seeing how I have a 2 mile commute to work and Matt has a 15 mile commute, it made more sense for me to drive the truck (we had since traded our "Camry" for an "Altima" since Matt complained about the acceleration on the "Camry"...I thought he was FOS (full of shit) but, hello, Toyota recalls, I guess he wasn't)!!

To sum it up...my truck and I have spent about 30,000 miles together, and over 1,500 parking adventures! I suck so bad...so bad to this day like it is the first day that I have ever parked that damn truck! So bad that I make my mom (who has had double knee replacement) walk hundreds of yards to enter the store because I need the room to park and pull out. So bad that I choose a more expensive grocery store over another because their parking lot is easier to maneuver (for me that is :)). So bad that I get pissed at the black VW Jetta who parks in "my spot" at work because I have parked there for the past 8 months uninterrupted and now I need to find another! So bad that, both, some dear friends of mine, and me (because I admit I can't park that damn truck) stop our daily activities to take pictures of my parking!

My Daughters Eye's

Meghan is at the age right now when she knows that something is not right. It breaks my heart to look into her eyes when she is having a seizure. The fear and confusion in her eyes breaks my heart. If I could take away every pain and worry that she has, I would in a heartbeat. How do I help her?? How can I make life easier for my baby?? If only I could make everything better for her...isn't that what a mom is suppose to do?