My Friend, Melinda

My friend of 26 years was killed Friday, Jan 7, 2011. Melinda Tackett Yager was one of my oldest and dearest friends. We met on the soccer field in 1985. We became fast friends and remained that way since JR High.

I graduated from Arroyo Grande High School in 1994 whereas Melinda graduated in 1995. We both attended Alan Hancock College together and tried our hardest to take the same classes. For a few years I would pick Melinda up in the morning, we would stop at 7-11, get a machine made capaccino, a Tigers Milk bar, and head off to college. After school we would drive back home, drive by the Five Cities Ambulance station...hello central coast folks, weren't they all HOT...just to see who was working...then end up at her house to change for work. From there we would head on over to Burger King to make the most fabulous meals for all to eat.

I have tons of memories of Melinda that would bring a smile to anyone's face! My most favorite is this:
I had moved up to Sacramento to attend California State University Sacramento. It was my very first semester, 5 hours away from home. My besties Crystal and Melinda came up from Pismo Beach to visit me. We went to this random club...The Rage...in Sacramento. After closing, Melinda, Crystal and I drove through a Del Taco to get a mid-night, hang over helping snack. We got back to my apartment, parked and started walking up to my door. As we were walking, I expressed my complete displeasure about this stupid motorcycle who parked in the most "prime spot" of all! So the three of us got the brilliant idea of moving this motorcycle from the parking spot up on to the sidewalk. So we carefully set down our Del Taco bags and the three of us, with all our might, tried to push the motorcycle up over the curb on to the side walk. Hello...motorcycles are way heavier than they look. Ten minutes, in our intoxicated stupor, we lost interest in attempting to move the motorcycle...we pick up our Del Taco...and proceeded to the apartment to dine in pleasure! Oh we laughed and laughed about that night.

Melinda...I will miss you so much. I've never ever thought I would experience the loss of a friend like this. Kaylee has the most special guardian angel watching over her. A day will never go by where you are not in my thoughts or prayers. Thank you for the laughs Mel...I love you so much my friend.

Melinda died at the hands of her husband. They were in the process of a divorce and she so wanted to come back to California, from Colorado. Melinda being the responsible person she was, she was trying to make sure that all legal requirements were met prior to leaving the state (she was divorcing him and bringing her daughter Kaylee to California). Friday, 1/7/11, they had a court date which did not go in his favor. He went to the house. She called the cops to report him, in which they dispatched a trespassing call. I don't know what happened then, but the corner said she put up a good fight. Melinda was found in a neighbors yard, by the railroad tracks, dead. She had bleed to death from cuts to her throat. She bleed to death while running from him to get help.

Here are some pictures of Melinda some years back!

Me and Melinda

Melinda in the Gap hat

Melinda in the Gap hat

Melinda...bottom row...second in from the right (long blond curly hair). 1988

Kaylee...Melinda's 15 month old precious baby girl is left without her mother. A trust fund had been set  up for this adorable little girl who will never know her mother. Please, if you can, find it in your heart to help little Kaylee Yager! She is just another innocent victim in this unfathomable tragedy! Or, please just say a prayer for little Kaylee and Melinda, and for her family!!! I love you Melinda! RIP my sweet friend!

For donations for Kaylee Yaeger...please go here...http://www.kayleesangel.com/

Thank your so much for your prayers, or donations for Melinda and Kaylee.

Parenting...Hilarious!!

Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.


Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.


Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.


Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?


Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.


Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.


Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.


Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.


Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, Yo Gabba Gabba and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.


Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.


Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.




This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

For anyone else reading this - I'm thrilled that you are all enjoying it, as I did - immensely. However, I DID NOT write it! It was sent in an email from a friend of mine... and I'm not sure who the original author is.

Good Bye Freedom

It has happened folks. The last straw is gone. The only peace we had in knowing that our toddler was fully confined in a humanistic way. Yes...our world just turned a different direction the same exact time that Meghan probably dumped on her head. She can now independently escape from her crib.

Now I use terms such as "probably dumped on her head" and "independently WITHOUT the use of effectively" for a couple reasons. 1) Moments after I put her to bed, I heard the hurt cry. Moms, dads, the.hurt.cry. I thought maybe she got her leg stuck in the slats of the crib. But before I knew it...here she comes barreling down the hall! 2) I've seen this child climb. She got a trampoline for Christmas (mainly for therapy reasons than fun). It's awesome. It has a bar on it to stabilize her while she jumps. Well, she likes to pull herself over the bar, and head first over the couch safely landing on the cushions (this is not part of her therapy...I guess this would be the fun part).

Thinking how the railing of the crib is much like the bar on the trampoline, she more than likely pulled herself on up, only to drop perilously to the floor and not softly on to the couch cushions.  OK, with lots of love and some ice cream, she calmed down and we tried it again. Successfully this time, no escaping, no dumping, no tears (but with a boat load of pillows on the floor to break her fall just in case). See, if this wasn't Meghan, I would say that she learned her lesson and will either not do it again for a long time, or adjust her dismount in a way that wont hurt so bad. But no...Meghan does not comprehend danger...she likes to take risks...she actually probably thought the fall was fun until the landing.

No worries, we have a convertible bed. Pop the front off that bad boy and viola...we have a toddler day bed. But I fear the toddler bed. There is no stopping her. Oh the visions of Supernanny where they put the kid to bed time after time after time after hour after hour are floating in my head. Mark my words, Meghan will be that child. So with great regret (mainly towards the trampoline), we will be converting her crib tonight to a toddler bed, we will be searching on demand for past episodes of Supernanny, and we may just have an extra drink in anticipation of what our "new bedtime process" will look like.

On a lighter note...I do call this progress. HELLO...development before our eyes. So yeah I do regret losing the ability to confine her, but she is growing AND developing into a big girl. I will toast to that!

My Daughters Eye's

Meghan is at the age right now when she knows that something is not right. It breaks my heart to look into her eyes when she is having a seizure. The fear and confusion in her eyes breaks my heart. If I could take away every pain and worry that she has, I would in a heartbeat. How do I help her?? How can I make life easier for my baby?? If only I could make everything better for her...isn't that what a mom is suppose to do?