Sleep Troubles

Nights have been so bad lately for Meghan, which obviously affects us too. Ah, what I would give for a solid, undisturbed night of sleep. Someday hopefully, one can only dream :)

This is, and has been Meghan's sleep pattern for about a month consistently now. She goes to be at 9:30, no later usually. She will typically wake up between 12:30 and 1:45. She gets up, opens her door and stands at her gate. Matt and I get up, put her to bed and she goes back to sleep. Then, anywhere usually in the 3:00 hour, she gets up and does the same thing. However, this time when we put her to bed, she will act very fractious. She will, whine, flip over and just wring her hands. We attempt to settle her down then head off back to bed. At this time she will continue to get up over and over again. We can put her back down anywhere from 5 to 15 times and she just wont settle down. She will outlast us by over 3 hours. So...skip this part if you are a serious hardcore parent that wont give in to your children...we bring her to bed with us. Actually, she comes to bed with me and Matt goes into her bed.

I am not against co-sleeping. I did with both the girls the first few months after they were born. I know how easy it is to instill bad habits by giving in to their demands. But, we have to function. We have to get up everyday and go to work, take care of the house, take care of the kids, grocery shop, pay bills, yadda yadda yadda, and when you average 4 hours a night over a long period of time, something needs to give.

Last week I was constantly emailing Meghan's Neuro. In July when she went in for her last appointment, we told him that she gets up through the night (but she always went back to sleep). He suggested giving her some sleep medicine. I disagreed. The poor girl is on so much medication as it was, I couldn't do that to her. So, last week, I emailed him..."I need you to call Meghan in some sleep medication as soon as possible!!!". I was desperate for 6 hours of sleep at the very least and besides, what's one more medication...right! He jumped right on that, we got the prescription, gave it to her, and settled in for a peaceful nights sleep...wrong.

It does nothing for her. Absolutely nothing!! I bet you anything, I could take that medication and be out for 12 hours (I will not confirm nor deny that I medicine share with my child). I don't get it, is it stubbornness or what.

So needless to say, I once again emailed her Neuro and said that I was adjusting her medication back to how it was before she started becoming so fractious. I did not ask for permission I emailed him due to the fact that I did not want to have a face to face about what I had done two months from now when she goes back.

Last night was our first night of going back to our medicine regime, and she was actually less fractious (in scientific terms, her Valporic acid was elevated due to the reintroduction of the Depakote). She did end up in bed with me and Matt did end up in Meghan's bed, but overall, I think I slept 6 semi undisturbed hours...and I feel FRYK GREAT!!!

Disclaimer regarding this morning: So Matt was sound asleep in Meghan's bed and I heard Matt's work phone ring. Um, I wasn't about to jump out of bed to eagerly deliver him his work phone (which was more than likely a call needing him to come in to work). Oh, I chuckled to myself, closed my eyes only to be brutally shaken by the house phone ringing. As Matt went off to work, I was left awake, sitting on the couch, at 6 am, with a very rambunctious 3 year old. Lesson learned...I will throw Matt his frykn work phone next time!

Sleep troubles or not...I would find a way to walk to the moon and back for this sweet child. She is my heart!

Catching Up

Oh my goodness...where does time go?? February is halfway over...yikes. Life in our household has been normal for the most part...i.e. CRAZY! But we have all grown accustomed to living that way I guess.

We have had my nephew visiting us for the past 6 weeks. He lives down in Pismo with my sister and niece. It was awesome having him here. I love him, I miss him and I feel that we had a chance to get caught up in life. When I moved to Sacramento 12 years ago, he was only 11 years old. And having only brief visits during that time left little chance to really hang out and reconnect.

Matt has been on call at work since Jan 1 and will be until the end of March. I feel bad for him because during this time he is averaging about 55 to 60 hours a week. BUT, I love Love LOVE the overtime checks. Did I mention that I love the overtime checks!!!!! It totally lets me shop pay bills with less stress!

Elizabeth is doing GREAT in school. We just had her conference with her teacher and I am so proud to say that she brought up her reading score from below grade level, to achieving grade level. We have worked so hard on this goal. A lot of blood, sweat, and tears have gone into this (well maybe not so much the blood). On Monday's and Wednesday's she goes to her friends house and does homework with him and his momma. She LOVES going over there and has done so much better on her most recent math tests!! Tuesday's, I get off from work, pick her up and we head to the library. We sit and do her homework there then pick out books to read for the week. I'm trying to think of different things to do with her to keep her homework time as fresh and fun as possible. Cirriculum these days are not what they used to be!! Pretty much 90% of her math homework is word problems. Seriously, for a 1st grader, from day 1, word problems. At the beginning of the year she couldn't even read the problems! A couple weeks ago she had a math problem that I literally attempted to figure out using algebra. Seriously, and guess what....I wasn't the only parent to do this!! This math problem taught me two things. One, look at it from a 1st graders point of view, or basically Keep It Simple Stupid (me!!!), and two, I suck and retained nothing of Algebra. When that homework comes home, I will gladly be paying a tutor to help her out!!



Meghan has been, well, bored, cranky, content, mischevious...you name it, she has been that recently! For the most part, she has been super healthy, although she does have a virus right now but so far it's not too bad (Elizabeth had it over the weekend and shared). Her seizures seem to be under control and I hope and pray everyday that they stay that way. My mom and I have really been working with her on putting puzzles together and identifying objects in books. She LOVES her books and pointing out different items. She loves learning and her brain is really absorbing it ALL! I think that is why she has been getting into trouble a lot lately. She is getting in to EVERYTHING, and she knows it! She is just so bored! I can't wait for the flu season to die down so we can get her out and do more things.



With her bordem comes the opportunity to play mess with her sister. You see, when Meghan does something that makes Elizabeth mad, Elizabeth FREAKS the FREAK out!! Her reaction to Meghan just gives Meghan all the more reason to do it again and again and again. I've tried to tell her not to react like she does. But nope, everytime, in her super hight pitched, loud and most whiny voice "Nooooooo Megggghhaannn. Stop it. Mom, Meghans bothering me". So not entertaining for us adults in the household, but Meghan LOVES this!!! For the peace of the household, I really hope that someday Elizabeth will take my advice!

Some serious hair pulling above



As for me, what have I been doing! Really, what have I been doing?? Well, Elizabeth not only shared her virus with Meghan, but I think she also shared it with me. So now I am a bit under the weather. Sore throat, headache and some bodyaches, but so far, Motrin is helping out! But really, you know what...my life is boring!! Working full time and coming home to a cranky two year old, 1st grade homework, dinner, baths, reading, snuggle time, and bedtime leaves little time for me. But that's OK, it just makes the that I do get for myself all the more special. Oooohhhh....this weekend, Matt and I are having a date night!! Now folks, this is rare!! Dinner and a movie is on the agenda and I am as giddy as a school girl about this! It's our Valentine's dinner/present to each other <3

Oh...and btw...I'm so totally addicted to this website, erincondren.com. I WANT everything!!! Keep up the OT Matt....muah!!!!

A New Year...A New Chapter

Ahhh, a new year. I get a little nervous starting new years lately. Since Meghan became sick, I always end the year with the prayer and hope that next year will be better. I don't know what I have been looking for over the past years to make "them better" but I still end in hopes that the following year will be better.

So at this moment, these are the things, if they happen, will make 2011 an unbeatable year:

1. Talking - I want Meghan to say more than "up". If she can have like a 15 word vocabulary by the end of the year, I will be totally ecstatic!

2. No Emergency Hospital Stays - We only had one last year which was a total improvement over the previous, but I want to end is ZERO (hospital stays due to testing are not included).

3. Elizabeth Passes First Grade - OK, I'm a hard mom when it comes school. I cried when I graduated college because I was .01 away from top honors! Elizabeth went into Kindergarten at 4, so I know that for at least the first couple years she is at a disadvantage, and will be a little behind her peers. So with LOTS of hard work on both our parts, we WILL pass 1st grade...God willing, PLEASE.

4. No More "Bad News" Neurologist Visits - 2010 and 2009 was full of downer appointments. SO, I am hoping, since we are 2 years into this seizure battle, we can escape negative, heartbreaking news.

If those 4 came true, this year would be the best year I have had in quite a while! OK, so on to my resolutions, which I fully intend to accomplish :)

1. Half Marathon - I ran a 5k on Thanksgiving...loved it. So, technically I have a head start on this, but in May I AM going to run a half! If all goes well, I will end 2011 by running a full Marathon an the beginning of December (I should make the Marathon a resolution, but I would prefer to go above and beyond my resolutions).

2. More Water, Less Martini's - I LOVE my martini's! But I will be 35 this year, so it is time to listen to Tim McGraw's advice (a whole 5 years later) and lay off! Water is my nemesis! I have totally had to make myself drink water. Even when I was pregnant, I would always get lectured how I don't drink enough water. So thank goodness for those little bottle of lemon juice, maybe I can trick myself into thinking I am having a lemon drop...LOL.

3. Patience - I think sometimes I run negative in this area, so I hope to be able to learn how to have more patience (especially with Meghan). I think this will be the hardest of all, but I know that I can do it.

4. Regular Exercise - Well, whether it be a half or a full marathon, this is a must! I do have to admit that I pulled a muscle in my thigh 3 weeks ago, and it is still giving me problems. So bring it treadmill and stair stepper...I will own you!

5. Read A Book A Month - I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading. Yes, I am a book nerd folks. But since kids, reading takes a back seat. I love getting lost in the stories and characters...very therapeutic for me!

6. Less Debt - Matt and I sometimes have that "champagne taste on a beer budget" going on. We like toys, we do. However, we don't go on vacation, so toys are our escape. Two days into the new year, and we are already upside down (do not buy a fish tank on Craigslist folks)

7. Photography - I'm did it!!! I don't know if I am jumping on some sort of band wagon or if I am getting older and I want to capture as much as life, my kids, family, friends, cats...etc. as I can. I purchased my first DSLR!! Thinking back...I don't think I have made a purchase that big for myself (at one time) except for my cars and house. But I am so excited to learn all I can about it. Hey...might even go back to school and take some photography classes (given the chance though, I could be a career college student)! Thank you Erika at Flip Flops & Sippy Cups, your Christmas present pushed me over...LOL. AND...I even plan on doing a little project with it!

8. Take A Bath At Least Once A Week - Before you get all grossed out I shower at least once, even sometimes, twice a day! But there is something so serene and relaxing about a bath. I give baths every night, but at least once a week, I will pull those toys out and soak in some awesome hot, good smelling water!

There it is, put out there for all to see, MY New Years Resolutions! Hold me too them, give me crap if I don't meet them. This is what I want for 2011. I put a lot of thought into them and I will make every attempt to meet them :)

Six months ago I started this blog. It started as an outlet to keep family and friends updated on our lives. But over these last 6 months I have met and read about some amazing, life changing people. I have laughed, cried, prayed, and shared/talked about your blog posts. You all have an impact in my daily life and thank you so much for taking the time to share your lives! Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Random New Years Eve pics....Matt drank a little too lot, so we ended up having some fun thanks to him...LOL

9pm...Just got home from work

E into taking self portraits

Getting too full of herself

1 bottle Yaeger down

I <3 my niece

Meg partied as best she could!

E and Meg dancing to the Kinect

Anna (niece)...no comment

This is what a bottle of Yeager will do folks

Best Hug Ever

Niece and Nanny (my mom)

Posing with the drunk one

He was able to get vertical for a moment

E had a blast

Best family ever. Happy New Years!

Good Bye Freedom

It has happened folks. The last straw is gone. The only peace we had in knowing that our toddler was fully confined in a humanistic way. Yes...our world just turned a different direction the same exact time that Meghan probably dumped on her head. She can now independently escape from her crib.

Now I use terms such as "probably dumped on her head" and "independently WITHOUT the use of effectively" for a couple reasons. 1) Moments after I put her to bed, I heard the hurt cry. Moms, dads, the.hurt.cry. I thought maybe she got her leg stuck in the slats of the crib. But before I knew it...here she comes barreling down the hall! 2) I've seen this child climb. She got a trampoline for Christmas (mainly for therapy reasons than fun). It's awesome. It has a bar on it to stabilize her while she jumps. Well, she likes to pull herself over the bar, and head first over the couch safely landing on the cushions (this is not part of her therapy...I guess this would be the fun part).

Thinking how the railing of the crib is much like the bar on the trampoline, she more than likely pulled herself on up, only to drop perilously to the floor and not softly on to the couch cushions.  OK, with lots of love and some ice cream, she calmed down and we tried it again. Successfully this time, no escaping, no dumping, no tears (but with a boat load of pillows on the floor to break her fall just in case). See, if this wasn't Meghan, I would say that she learned her lesson and will either not do it again for a long time, or adjust her dismount in a way that wont hurt so bad. But no...Meghan does not comprehend danger...she likes to take risks...she actually probably thought the fall was fun until the landing.

No worries, we have a convertible bed. Pop the front off that bad boy and viola...we have a toddler day bed. But I fear the toddler bed. There is no stopping her. Oh the visions of Supernanny where they put the kid to bed time after time after time after hour after hour are floating in my head. Mark my words, Meghan will be that child. So with great regret (mainly towards the trampoline), we will be converting her crib tonight to a toddler bed, we will be searching on demand for past episodes of Supernanny, and we may just have an extra drink in anticipation of what our "new bedtime process" will look like.

On a lighter note...I do call this progress. HELLO...development before our eyes. So yeah I do regret losing the ability to confine her, but she is growing AND developing into a big girl. I will toast to that!

Disabled

For the first time ever, I'm admitting that my child is disabled. Ever since Meghan had her drastic regression in development, going from a normal 10 month old baby to being the equivalent of a 2 month old in every aspect, I have always held on to the fact that she is just delayed. My child is not disabled, she is just delayed. When my heart would race with anxiety of her condition, I would tell myself to calm down, she is just delayed. She will catch up. She is just delayed.
About two weeks ago we had our 6 month IDP with our intake coordinator with Alta Regional. At little bit of background, Meghan was accepted in the Early Intervention Program after her set back. Alta mainly used Easter Seals as our vendor for Developmental Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, and Physical Therapy. All children can remain in this Early Intervention Program until they are 3 years old. At that time, they become the responsibility of the school district to take over all developmental needs in order for them to succeed or develop in life. There is a chance however, to continue services with Alta Regional, if your child is deemed, by their board members, as being severely handicapped or disabled. If this happens, whenever we go up against the school district for her IEP's, we will have an advocate from Alta backing her disabilities and pushing for services if they are reluctant. They also help setting Medical and SSI in place for families.

We got the call from our intake coordinator that the board has deemed Meghan disabled and they will be continuing her case when she turns 3. Bittersweet! Yay, we have an advocate, another voice that will help get Meghan what she needs! A support system that we can turn too. The help with getting signed up for Medical and SSI. BUT, my child, Meghan is disabled. That is hard to swallow. It was hard enough to come to grips with her being so delayed, that accepting the label disability will take some time. And this may not be a permanent disability. If we can keep her seizures under control, and reduce some of her medications, then she may develop leaps and bounds and catch up to her age level. I am very confident by the time Kindergarten comes around, she just may be able to run with the big kids :) So even though Meghan being labeled disabled is bittersweet, I will always continue to hold on to hope that she will overcome it. If not, then that's OK. She is my huggable, luvable, squeezable Meggers and disability or not, I will do whatever it takes to be the best mom ever!! Trying it on for size....My name is Kerri, and I have a child with a disability. Not as hard as I thought!

These poems have helped me immensely through our process: A Magical Poem and Welcome To Holland

On Paper

Meghan is 2 1/2 years old. 30 months!! On paper, according to her most recent developmental progress report from Easter Seals, she is:

Gross Motor Skills: 15-18 months
Fine Motor Skills: 12-15 months
Communication Expressive: 12-15 months
Communication Receptive: 12-15 months
Cognitive Abilities: 18-21 months
Social Emotional Development: 21-24 months
Self Care: 21-24 months

We still have a road ahead, but I cannot thank our therapists from Easter Seals and all the help and support from Alta California Regional Center for everything they do!! They are all such a blessing!